Amanda Winsor ~

Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But that is not what God desires; rather, he devises ways so that a banished person does not remain banished from him.
— 2 Samuel 14:14
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So… Who the heck am I?

Well, my name is Amanda. You can call me Man. I am a 22 year old chemist living in Seattle.

Ill keep it brief here, but life has been everything but easy. In fact, i’m utterly shocked that i’m still alive and functioning. Through it all, God marked me. He chose me from the bunch and cursed me with a heart that yearns after his own. A lot of Christians are offended by my use of the term “curse”.

“But, its a blessing!”, they argue. Not entirely. I feel as though the things of this world have been placed in front of me but I cannot attain them or feel satisfied by them… Its absolute torture. Instead, the only thing that satisfies me is something that I can’t see, feel, or hear tangibly. Even worse, most of the world hates and denies the very existence of this “thing”. Wow, that’s fun. Cheers to that, pal.

It wasn’t until I studied the life of King David that I understood my constant state of unrest and melancholy. David is known for being “a man after God’s own heart”. Just like him, my only desire is to be in Gods presence. I came to the conclusion many years ago that I wanted to build off of David’s foundation and legacy. I want to know God the way David knew him. In fact, I want to know him more.

In conclusion, I am a Christian. I’m not going to back down, shut up, or give up. I’ve come way too far. I’m going on this journey come hell or high water, and i’m hoping to encourage anyone else who is on the same path.

So, let us raise up our water-filled glasses (please God, turn it into wine) and lets make a toast to the fact that this Christian life wont be easy. Aside from all my trials and pain… I do know however, that the water that I drink from this cup is pristine and pure compared to that ungodly cup he drank for me on the cross so long before.

Okay... But why blog?

First of all, “writing” it not a gifting or even an enjoyment of mine. It just so happens to be one of the only ways that I can relay information from God’s mouth to others. So please, bear with me through all of the punctuation, spelling and grammar errors.

Now, I decided to start this blog to share my journey. I’ve come to the realization that my pitiful, sad, and honest struggles have been more of an encouragement to others than my achievements. If you haven’t already noticed, I am blunt and harsh. I don’t care how people view me. I once did, but through long-suffering, my once high tower of self-pride and self-righteousness came crumbling to the ground. I have no issue telling people how it is. I am a sinner, who has fallen short in every way that I saw possible. This is not something most are willing to admit to themselves these days.

I see a resounding problem that has plagued the global church today: pride, identity and reputation are more important than seeking after help and community. For the first time in my life… I see a problem to which I can be the solution. I am going to be as transparent, raw and real about my walk with God as I can. About my sins. About my doubts. For the mere, and soul purpose of destroying the notion that perfection is needed to grow with God and to make a difference.

I am more than willing to humiliate myself if it means I can encourage one meek soul. My friend, there is in fact, some hope still left in this world. His name is Jesus. If you don’t know him already, i’d love nothing more than to introduce you to him.

Content:

My blog consists of three forms of content… “Praise” is my discourse with God. “Words” is my discourse with you. “Community” is a platform designed to allow others to speak and share their talents and testimonies.

I wish to share with you my poems, songs and prayers that were once kept between God and I. I hear far too often, “How do I pray?”. Well, how do you speak to someone? You talk, you share, you converse. If you are struggling to do just that with God, it is necessary to observe how others pray and talk to God. It’s the same thing for when you are getting to know someone here on this earth. You observe how they speak to their family, friends, co-workers, waiters… etc. It reveals their heart and it gives you insight on how you can grow in relationship with them. I want to throw out my discourse with God to give you some examples of how God talks to one of his children.

I believe strongly in community. Christians, by God’s design, need each other to grow closer to him. We are the body of Christ. We all function uniquely and are equally as needed. For this reason, it is our christian duty to share our revelations, gifting, and anointing to the rest of the body. Therefore, I am here to share to you what God has shown me in hopes that it will uplift and edify you.

I do not want this blog to only project my voice but many, many others. Therefore, I am going to post testimonies, art pieces, photography, sermons, teachings, praise reports, etc. of other members of the this beloved bride of Christ.